so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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