I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
