Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
it's like heaven, but drunker
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
