as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
