This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
