Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
