Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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