this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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