He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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