based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
