she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
How's work?
Spinning.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
