Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
