i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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