I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
