I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
the day after is always just damage control
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize