I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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