Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I need a beard to bite.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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