You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
