2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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