so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm both gender and math confused
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
