How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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