She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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