Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
