i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
