big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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