God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
