Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
