Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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