Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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