those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I didn't notice because vodka
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
