So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
