i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
