I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
