i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
All I want is dick and wine.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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