I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize