I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We are all done wearing pants today
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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