I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
