YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
