dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
