Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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