check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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