That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I wear drunk well.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
