Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
