Nicole vs. Life
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I think I won the penis lottery.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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