is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
