Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
