I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I can't trust your balls anymore.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
