you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
