Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
