Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I heard we made out
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
