Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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