im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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